Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
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- Ninja
- Posts: 14364
- Joined: Mar 26, 2015
Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
Now if the above emotes did not elicit an immediate reaction of utter distaste then I applaud you for your general sense of maturity and mild mannerism. That being said I am now going to do my best to convince you to abandon that stance of neutrality on what you may think to be an ultimately inconsequential matter and instead turn you towards a more vehement opposition in what is realistically an issue that transcends mere opinion, if we're being frank, that is, these emotes are the cancer of ESOC. Let's get started.
First off? Color. They're green. Not even that, no, they are more a sort of viridian, radioactive, sickly green than just regular green. Green is the color of grass. It is the color of the supple, vibrant leaves in spring. It is the ambassador of growth, life, nature, the color of chlorophyll. It is, simply stated, a beautiful color. The emotes in question, they are not green, not in the true sense. They are a bastardization, a cheap attempt at what it means to be between blue and yellow on the optical spectrometer. They're sick, in every sense of the word. If you are color blind consider your fortuitous exemption fortunate though even gray-scaled I'd imagine this shade to evoke some sense of nausea.
And then there's the question of demeanor. Just look at them! What words can describe such pompous smirks (well besides "pompous" and "smirk")? If we consider an "emote" or "emoticon" a pictorial representation of a facial expression and if we consider a facial expression the exemplification of a given feeling or reaction, we can then ask the question, "Which reactions warrant the use of such vexing caricatures?" In everyday life when would one wish to express themselves in the manner of these: things?? Would anyone here wish that any one of these cast a resemblance of themselves? They are arrogant, immature in nature, invoking a sense of entitlement and presumptuous in their actuality.
Now all this said even amongst themselves the green bastards are not equal. No, there's this little prick. He moves. And as if it weren't enough to create the epitome of adolescent immaturity in the form of a few pixels someone at some point thought, "I know, I'll make him animated" and we were gifted with that unholy mongrel. Disgusting.
The use of these particular emotes, while perhaps a declaration of an expression, are declarations of unhallowed expressions not meant to be used on this website. It's like at some point we grow up and stop throwing temper tantrums and stop sticking gum under desks and picking up lollipops that have fallen on the floor and similarly we should learn to stop using such stupid-ass emotes.
I do not mean to be mean. My intent is not to victimize any users who have in the past or might in the future use these emotes. In fact, I offer a solution: irony. That's right, the holy grail of the current generation: nothing can be mocked that is not performed with serious intent. Wearing an "Iowa hawkeye alumni hat" but you're currently enrolled in a Nebraska school and have never attended an Iowa institution? Don't worry bro, it's ironic. Caught browsing /r/adviceanimals? Memes are funny because they're dumb. The same philosophy can be applied to this current scenario, and in fact, I dare say I encourage it. I caution though; the line between irony and gross misuse is a fickle one. Do not mistake this post as a piece of irony, either, as I really do possess strong feelings about this. This isn't a joking matter
Lastly, I ask for your own opinions on this subject. How do you feel about these emotes: ? Which one is your favorite/least favorite? Do you think they have any redeeming qualities?
Thanks for reading.
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- Ninja
- Posts: 13004
- Joined: Apr 28, 2020
Re: Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
Nice essay. I grade you 5/7.
- milku3459
- Howdah
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- Location: in your base, killing your dudes
Re: Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
I rate your boredness level 10/10 and reply with an
- Vinyanyérë
- Retired Contributor
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Re: Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
On first glance this is a troll thread but I actually do think that the green emotes are the worst we have by a large margin and I would feel no sorrow if I were to find out that they were removed.
duck
imo
imo
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- Ninja
- Posts: 14364
- Joined: Mar 26, 2015
Re: Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
If this thread results in their removal I would be so happy.
- Laurence Drake
- Jaeger
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- Joined: Dec 25, 2015
Re: Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
This takes shitposting to a whole new level.
Top quality poster.
Re: Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
They have their own meaning and can find different use here and there. Still, if we were to remove them, what would you replace them with? Ugly „modern" social media emojis? Hell no!
- Mr_Bramboy
- Retired Contributor
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Re: Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
Laurence Drake wrote:This takes shitposting to a whole new level.
You've got a lot to learn.
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- Gendarme
- Posts: 5788
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Re: Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
We need iphone emoji
A post not made is a post given away
A slushie a day keeps the refill thread at bay
Jackson Pollock was the best poster to ever to post on these forums
A slushie a day keeps the refill thread at bay
Jackson Pollock was the best poster to ever to post on these forums
- milku3459
- Howdah
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- Location: in your base, killing your dudes
Re: Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
Mr_Bramboy wrote:Laurence Drake wrote:This takes shitposting to a whole new level.
You've got a lot to learn.
Is Callen going to post about trimming the lawn on his...nether regions now?
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- Jaeger
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Re: Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
Nice thread
Re: Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
I like the green emojis
Site: Be there or be square
Jakey: I'm square because I'm not around
Re: Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
can someone please sum up in a line? I can't read that big, i am busy doing nothing.
- milku3459
- Howdah
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- Location: in your base, killing your dudes
Re: Why The Green Emotes Are Cancer
Ashvin wrote:can someone please sum up in a line? I can't read that big, i am busy doing nothing.
Callen hates green emojis because they irk his maturity and wants them removed.
me the king of summarisation
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