AI Quotes Thread

[noissance]

Share your funniest/favorite lines the ai say to you in comp stomps!

Let me start:
Cuauhtemoc as you burn his town down:
"No! Cuauhtemoc never surrenders! ...Unless you let him."

[vardar]

When Queen Isabella calls you her pet

[JakeyBoyTH]

IDK I never play any comp stomps

[noissance]

u just streamed some jakey, on your twitch you went vs ivan

[pecelot]

Isabella does say stuff which is easily interpreted as dirty lol

There is no substitute for Spanish wood! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I am done. You can stop now. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
My explorer has been careless. He will get a spanking when he returns. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I see you like it rough. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
You play too rough. I would like to stop now. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Why is it always me that get double-teamed?

[P i k i l i c]

Haha there are too many epic AI quotes I write one of my favorites every week in my signature overall I think Suleiman and Akbar are the funniest personalities

[Imperial Noob]

My media player approximates, that there are nearly 6000 unique quotes of AI personalities with a combined running time of 8,2 hours in bin/Sound/Chats
I've listened to Queen Elisabeth for a start, and, ladies and gentlemen, here are the results:

Potent universal taunts:
“You better pick up your toys and scurry home” eliz46
“What happened? Your multiplayer score has plummeted”. eliz129
or
“Poor baby, I see you’ve been losing a lot in multiplayer. Your score is so much lower than before” eliz130
“Remember when I crushed you last time? Ahhh, those were the days…” eliz140
“The enemy is certainly obsessive about hoarding trading sites”. eliz147
“So far, so good”. ELIZ0175
“This trade site needs new management” ELIZ0210

Potent taunts for FFA:
“I see your force manouvering in the wilderness… perhaps it is worth my while to destroy it” eliz44
“I wish you’d stop trespassing my property. Look! Now you’ve broken it!” eliz237
„What do you think you are doing? Killing settlers violates all civilized laws of war!” eliz37
“I warn you! Continue to raid my settlers and I will respond in kind” eliz39
“I doubt you’d dare to attack me with an army that size” eliz45
“I think you’ve bitten more than you can chew, my friend. Perhaps a strategic withdrawal is in order…” eliz187
“I imagine the reason your army is so small is that you had hoped in vain, that it would escape notice” eliz48
“Are you trying to hide? I see no signs of life…” eliz292
“Can we discuss a temporary ceasefire? Perhaps your troops could take a break from their labors?” eliz51
“You may have forgotten about me, but I have not forgotten about you”. eliz290

Personalised taunts:
“I like horses… and I’m glad you do too”. eliz103 (for @fei123456 )
“It takes two of you to defeat me? What kind of soldier are you anyway?” eliz294 (for @howlingwolfpaw )
“So… read any good books lately?” eliz195 (Clint-Eastwood-laconic randoms in team games xD)

Cool ones:
“Wood? What can you do with THAT?” eliz206
“Wood is good”. eliz109
“Free money…” eliz111
“That’s one less enemy town befouling the landscape…” ELIZ0240

Curios:
“Those false British are just about out of the door. Your troops plus my loyalist have shoved them up”. eliz256
“These are difficult times, my friend. Perhaps Russia is the nation of our future?” ELIZ0535

Queen Isabela Appreciation Club:
“It’s been sooo long since our last encounter… Have you been seing someone else?” eliz131
“Auch… perhaps you could go easier on me next time…” eliz215
“This food really… hits the spot”. eliz185

Queen Elisabeth on civ balance:
„Though we may not understand their ways, we should not underestimate the Sioux” ELIZ5080
“The Iroquis are strong, and growing stronger”. ELIZ5075
“The Iroquis cannot be stopped, I fear” ELIZ5090

The crowning quote:
“RUUULE BRITANIA… BRITANIA DAM DI DAM” ELIZ5017

I shall report when I spare time to listen to the others. Stay tuned.

[pecelot]

Haha, golden finds! I wonder when all of them are spoken, as I encountered like one fifth of those in total

[Imperial Noob]

Haha, golden finds! I wonder when all of them are spoken, as I encountered like one fifth of those in total

So did I. I guess they are bugged, or have not been all translated to the polish version.

[howlingwolfpaw]

those would make some excellent taunts!


I actually recently just had a 4v1 as india vs port, otto, dutch and brits and won that!! Granted the port and otto were low decks, but the other 2 were decent while still noobish. it started off with a great TP boom on g plains. I didn't attack anyone cause I was so far ahead and instead used my trade to get spies to watch them, but then they soon turned on me. How I did it was taking their assults at my base and partially losing some of my eco, then using that over pop to kill their FBs and defend my base while taking out one of their bases at a time. that happened a few times, putting them on the run but never quitting. I think remade eco back to full to attack and continue defending or assaulting bases as possible. took 2.5 hrs for game. end kills 5200 kills to 2500 losses. (at one point the port could only make crossbows and a few mahouts just ran them over) and the brit guy tries full on musket spam into sepoy, gurka and urumi after his rockets kept dying. the dutch guy played a little smarter with mass cannon, halbs and hussar. but I find india counters dutch nicely and when he lost his base he never really recovered more than to blow his bank roll.

[pecelot]

Haha, golden finds! I wonder when all of them are spoken, as I encountered like one fifth of those in total

So did I. I guess they are bugged, or have not been all translated to the polish version.

It's not about game localisation, rather proper triggers. I have all the sound files in my Polish version.
Niech żyjeee Brytaaaniaaa, Brytaaaniaaa ram pam pam *cringe*

[P i k i l i c]

Haha, golden finds! I wonder when all of them are spoken, as I encountered like one fifth of those in total

So did I. I guess they are bugged, or have not been all translated to the polish version.

You can order AI to train inf or cav (and artillery maybe I believe) but their reaction taunts never worked in my experience

[Imperial Noob]

Haha, golden finds! I wonder when all of them are spoken, as I encountered like one fifth of those in total

So did I. I guess they are bugged, or have not been all translated to the polish version.

You can order AI to train inf or cav (and artillery maybe I believe) but their reaction taunts never worked in my experience

exactly

[pecelot]

It would still leave a lot of space for taunts of different kind, though

[Imperial Noob]

Round two: Frederick The Great, king of Sassony.

Potent universal taunts:
“Ahh, walls. Like a crunchy outer coating to a delightful German chocolate”. Frederick0454
“Bayonets are at our throats. I need assistance IN MY TOWN NOW!” Frederick0173
“If the Dutch have spent less time doting over their tulips, and more time training their soldiers, they might have had a chance”. Frederick0083 (too greedy)
“The Ottomans have just about run out of gunpowder… AND EVERYTHING ELSE” Frederick0096 (held off a jan rush/an all in)

Potent taunts for FFA:
“Unless you want to lose every soldier in that army, I recommend you retreat now”. Frederick0012
“I’m sorry I destroyed your town center… well, no, not really”. frederick0360

Personalised taunts:
“My reputation alone will be enough to rout their army in that fight”. Frederick0024 (for @_H2O )

Larger than game:
“Every warrior must admit defeat eventually… at least every warrior I meet”. frederick0296
“This battle should be a little easier to deal with. I’ll tie one army behind my back”. frederick0381
“In the battle at hand our enemy shall feel the imposition of my heel upon his face” Frederick0023
“Are you waiting until I arrive with the army of the apocalypse before advancing to the colonial age?” frederick0331
“The challenge has been reduced. One hemisphere of my superior brain can take a vacation, and we will still be triumphant” Frederick0182 (first opponent leaves in a team game)
“Soldiers cannot eat their boots… at least… not usually”. Frederick0265
“I can spare advice, but not resources”. Frederick0058
“A town center may be the heart of a leader’s base, but a wise commander… well, I suppose losing it stinks however I cut it”. Frederick0322
“I’ll continue to send you food… and also sauerkraut”. Frederick0214

Curios:
“I’ll begin by taking. Scholars later shall demonstrate my perfect right to have done so”. frederick0301
“I see that squad of soldiers scouting for my base. I’ll send a snippy letter to Voltaire if you persist”. frederick0395
“If we don’t attack the Russians soon, we may be defeated”. (Hitler claimed to hear voices of great historical figures in his dreams) Frederick0244

Crowning quote:
“Don’t make my settlers mad. You WON’T like them when they are maaad”. frederick0400

[Panmaster]

Napoleon: "I had hoped for a more challenging opponent".

[imgur]http://imgur.com/a/hHFQh[/imgur]

[Omkar_Satapathy]

Ivan: "The Portuguese... I had never dreamed that such a small nation could house such dangerous soldiers!"

[Omkar_Satapathy]

Ivan: Player collects wood-related treasure - "Wood - what a useless resource."

[noissance]

Some more taunts are triggered when you change difficulty in between comp stomps.

[pecelot]

classic

[OrangeRage]

This got me thinking that the AI taught some of the ESO population that flaming people is cool.

[pecelot]

Because flaming people with class is indeed kewl

[Imperial Noob]

At last, here comes Tokugawa, the saltiest, braggiest bot this game has known! His voice acting is just supreme.

Tokugawa as a friend
"Greetings; you must be the newest servant of Tokugawa..." YTOKU0153
"All good things come from your benevolent master... Tokugawa!" YTOKU0186
"Yes, I remember you. I often dreamt of removing your head and placing it on a platter". YTOKU0160
"Hurry! Tokugawa's men shall not die when your's would be a much better substitute!" YTOKU0150
"Cease hiding in your headquarters and join the battle at hand! The world advances without you!" YTOKU0121
"A warrior does not nap when the enemy walks over him. Open your eyes, fool, and fight!" YTOKU0323
"Focus your efforts on the fight, not on your coffers; treasure hunting is for fools!" YTOKU0335
"Tokugawa knows, that this is not a contest, but still his richies put yours to shame". YTOKU0361
"How can you rule such a stunted civilization? Tokugawa is surprised your people are not walking into walls..." YTOKU0414

Tokugawa on social issues
"Villagers are like cattle. Every beast should be put to use". YTOKU0341
"You have formed a bond with the natives. Tokugawa is pleased; he enjoys exploitation". YTOKU0324
"Wise move; natives are the best resource of all; obedient and easily replaced". YTOKU0324
"These native villages burn so brightly! It is beautiful!" YTOKU0131
"Tokugawa will take this food so you do not have to. Your warriors are looking a little soft around the edges". YTOKU0494

Tokugawa on foreign relations
"We are buried under the Chinese avalanche. If we do not act fast, we will suffocate!" YTOKU0278
"Do not underestimate Dutch soldiers; their blank expressions hide a bloodthirsty brutality" YTOKU0092
"If any Europeans are to be feared, it is the French. They have an imperialist's eye". YTOKU0094
"Like a growing storm the Sioux armies approach. Their numbers are like the stars!" YTOKU0105

Tokugawa on patches and balance
"The Sioux cannot keep up this crushing intensity. When their armies weaver, we will show them the meaning of pain!" YTOKU0292
"Wonderful! These moving targets will provide excellent practice to Tokugawa's archers!" YTOKU0444

Tokugawa on Vane's Patch
"I fear British warriors. Their western savagery suggests madness". YTOKU0089

Crowning quotes
"Remember. The fatter you grow with treasures, the more difficult it will be to flee the onslaught!" YTOKU0477
"Tokugawa thought he has buried your severed head in his garden. Strange. It must have been someone else's". YTOKU0164

FFA Taunt pack
"Do not waste your time. No wall will dam the coming flood"... YTOKU0485
"Your scouting party walks through my lands. Is there any reason I should not slay them?" YTOKU0441
"It is no honor when two armies descent on one. It is the strategy of a feeble mind!" YTOKU0398

[pecelot]

Brilliant!