disclosing info about your peers in discord

[fightinfrenchman]

see this is why I don't close touchy threads if I can help it.

this is a great read

viewtopic.php?f=318&t=4573

[bigsmoke]

see this is why I don't close touchy threads if I can help it.

this is a great read

viewtopic.php?f=318&t=4573

thats quite clearly not a great read

[fightinfrenchman]

Well because it got cut off too early

[momuuu]

People who share things expressed in PMs are being inconsiderate and impolite. It's quite simple. Using a donor's online paper trail from paypal to try to find their personal information is weird and creepy. There is no legality discussion to have, it's just scumbags being scumbags because they don't like someone. But apprently that's okay, and it's not a scumbag's fault, and the people who feel betrayed need lessons on internet anonymity and legislature, not any sort of compassion.

First of, it's not actually that weird and creepy to look up someone on facebook. People literally do this all the time. You're invited to a party and you end up looking up some of those girls on facebook, or you are assigned some groupmates for a project and you end up quickly glancing over their facebook account as you know their names. I think its completely normal to wonder what a person like Iwillspankyou is like, and I don't think it's weird and creepy if you want to take a guess to see if it's on facebook. Hell, I once, long ago, tracked down MCJim's facebook because he put out the challenge to figure out how old he was. Took some stalking but that wasn't all that creepy and weird. The fact of the matter is that by putting information on facebook, you agree that every random stranger can find out who you are. That's what the street analogy was about - maybe its extreme but it covers the point: If you throw your information out in public then people can look up some of it. Considering that average human beings might get curious and look it up, you should be aware of that. If spanky does not want this information to be available, she shouldn't have an easily tracable facebook account - which it turns out she doesn't have.

And then it seems entirely weird that just mentioning things someone told you in pm is evil. If I pm bram that I am going out tomorrow and thus won't be around, and then someone asks him if I will be there, it's not inconsiderate or impolite of him to tell that guy asking him that I'm away. Someone was saying some false things about spanky and she told me some things, in a very light manner, that stated the contrary so I just jumped in and corrected the stuff. I did not even know it was a secret, to me it's like when I tell someone I tore my ACL a while ago and thus can't play football and then the other guy shares that information with someone else while it's relevant. I couldn't care less really. I wouldn't even care one bit if all of ESOC told all of their friends about this, or any other condition I could have. Thus I concluded, quite logically so within normal human behaviour, that this lightly told information wasn't a secret. I didn't even consider it a secret, as it had never been specified and didn't at all appear like something secretive to me. Spanky even dropped some strong implications or just straight up told some things about this in tibia twitch chat - I remember this quite clearly actually. So, sharing things expressed in PMs doesn't at all seem inconsiderate and impolite, it's just normal human behaviour.

And that's the point. If you don't want your facebook to be looked up, don't have a facebook or hide it. If you don't want people to share something you told them, tell them it's a secret. That's all.

And then your response kinda gets me to this response by gendarme:

@deleted_user4 No. Internet-acquaintances are not meaningful to everyone as they are to you. One does not necessarily care more about a person in this community than a complete internet-stranger simply due to having "known" them for more than a year. Sharing the discovered Facebook-account of a random person on the internet is not wrong and certainly does not make one a scumbag.

You love your moral high ground and claim to be caring, but ironically all you do is flame people who do not share your opinions when you're not busy shitposting. You insist on calling this person an asshole and a scumbag, but if there is one person in this community who deserves those names it is you yourself. Try to take a look in the mirror for once.

You really do instantly take moral high ground here: "oh it's so inconsiderate, that guy is a scumbag!" While in reality, you're condemning very normal human behaviour. That's why Gendarme, and I too, perceive your post as someone taking moral high ground, trying to make yourself look nice and caring, while calling others that have a different view or behave normally scumbags. I don't think it'd have gotten such a heavy response if this was the first time you did this, but I've noticed you do this a lot. And a lot too me, to the point where I would consider it an attempt to 'bully' me. Whenever I have a non-positive view on something on this forum, you, spanky and sometimes others personally attack me and call me a negative person. I call it an attempt because I don't really care that much and am quite capable of standing up for myself here (btw please don't consider me a victim), but that's why I am calling you out on this stuff.

You're literally just saying you shouldn't be considerate to people

You don't have to be considerate to people if you don't want to. PC culture is really deep in you americans man.

It’s funny how Jeroms gotten so anti pc he sees the horrible “pcness” everywhere and forcing his anti pcness on people way more than anyone being pc is. Should just ban him for trolling tbh, no ones that’s dumb.

I only said you don't have to be nice to people. It bothers me about many Americans and typically pc people to be honest.. Somehow people around here think the only viable vision on the world is one where we're living in a flowercoated paradise, while having to condemn everyone that thinks differently. I think it's better to just see things the way they are and let people think whatever they think. But I don't even know how you've gotten that out of this thread.

This is another point. If you look closely at what fightinfrenchman is saying is that you should be considerate to people, to which I reply you don't really have to be so. It's normal to not be considerate towards people you don't like and normally people aren't actually overly considerate to people they don't know. I don't really consider many esoc people people I know, and I also consider many people unfriendly towards me, so I don't feel like being considerate towards them. There are nice people in the community, that are nice to me, that don't always judge me for having a relatively harsh and straightforward personality, so I chill with those. Doesn't really make me a terrible human being, and doesn't make it so that I don't have friends like Gibson implied (quite the contrary actually, there's not enough time for the friends I have right now). The fact that I bring PC culture into this is maybe a bit unrelated, but I just can't stand the almost forced positivism on ESOC. Either you're supportive, you say positive things and condemn all sorts of behaviour (even if it's just normal), or you're going to get a bunch of hate from a bunch of people. It bothers me a lot, because I could never be a person like this - what bothers me more is that people (gibson especially with his high class ad hominems) make it seem as if not following this vision makes you a mean, bad and unfriendly person while I am in fact very considerate and kind towards the people that are nice to me.

The bottom line is that I'm bothered by a group of ESOC users that take every opportunity to call someone negative or condemn something about someone, even if he is just being honest. I get that it is your opinion, but it's simply a dickhead move to constantly share that. That's my entire point. I am standing up to this because I basically perceive it as an act of bullying. Just take snuden, providing us an excellent example of my point. Snuden explains how he likes to live his life, and then people jump onto him pointing out that he's weird and doing something wrong. Basically, these people are just mocking Snuden's life for no reason (or well, they do get to showcase their moral compass I suppose). I would never sit idly by when this happens in real life, and apperantly not on ESOC either. Have whatever opinion you want, but just don't pick on people for having an opinion.

[fightinfrenchman]

I guess it's normal to not be considerate to people you don't like but I always at least try to be considerate to people I don't know. Otherwise you're one of those people playing music loudly or on speakerphone in a public area. Is it weird to expect people to be considerate to strangers?

[momuuu]

I guess it's normal to not be considerate to people you don't like but I always at least try to be considerate to people I don't know. Otherwise you're one of those people playing music loudly or on speakerphone in a public area.

and normally people aren't actually overly considerate to people they don't know

[kami_ryu]

-- deleted post --

[fightinfrenchman]

@kami_ryu Lol how was that spam

[bigsmoke]

And then everyone cries that ESOC is dead. But why even take the bait when snuden is obviously trolling with his extremely macho stories? It's just derailing the thread again.

There is no bait to be taken, I am asked a question and I answer.
Macho? I'm an engineer ffs, nothing macho about that. The reason I don't wear a watch is because my arms are too skinny.

What the hell is so wrong with my woman is cooking? I honestly don't get it.

You live your life wrong and you should feel bad. I am telling you this not because I want you to know this but I want the rest to know that I treat women like gods and cook for them!

my cooking taste like ass so we both really don't mind her cooking.

[Cometk]

@fightinfrenchman @kami_ryu it was a legitimate topic but it was over 2 years ago, let's leave it in the past

[VooDoo_BoSs]

People who share things expressed in PMs are being inconsiderate and impolite. It's quite simple. Using a donor's online paper trail from paypal to try to find their personal information is weird and creepy. There is no legality discussion to have, it's just scumbags being scumbags because they don't like someone. But apprently that's okay, and it's not a scumbag's fault, and the people who feel betrayed need lessons on internet anonymity and legislature, not any sort of compassion.

First of, it's not actually that weird and creepy to look up someone on facebook. People literally do this all the time. You're invited to a party and you end up looking up some of those girls on facebook, or you are assigned some groupmates for a project and you end up quickly glancing over their facebook account as you know their names. I think its completely normal to wonder what a person like Iwillspankyou is like, and I don't think it's weird and creepy if you want to take a guess to see if it's on facebook. Hell, I once, long ago, tracked down MCJim's facebook because he put out the challenge to figure out how old he was. Took some stalking but that wasn't all that creepy and weird. The fact of the matter is that by putting information on facebook, you agree that every random stranger can find out who you are. That's what the street analogy was about - maybe its extreme but it covers the point: If you throw your information out in public then people can look up some of it. Considering that average human beings might get curious and look it up, you should be aware of that. If spanky does not want this information to be available, she shouldn't have an easily tracable facebook account - which it turns out she doesn't have.

And then it seems entirely weird that just mentioning things someone told you in pm is evil. If I pm bram that I am going out tomorrow and thus won't be around, and then someone asks him if I will be there, it's not inconsiderate or impolite of him to tell that guy asking him that I'm away. Someone was saying some false things about spanky and she told me some things, in a very light manner, that stated the contrary so I just jumped in and corrected the stuff. I did not even know it was a secret, to me it's like when I tell someone I tore my ACL a while ago and thus can't play football and then the other guy shares that information with someone else while it's relevant. I couldn't care less really. I wouldn't even care one bit if all of ESOC told all of their friends about this, or any other condition I could have. Thus I concluded, quite logically so within normal human behaviour, that this lightly told information wasn't a secret. I didn't even consider it a secret, as it had never been specified and didn't at all appear like something secretive to me. Spanky even dropped some strong implications or just straight up told some things about this in tibia twitch chat - I remember this quite clearly actually. So, sharing things expressed in PMs doesn't at all seem inconsiderate and impolite, it's just normal human behaviour.

And that's the point. If you don't want your facebook to be looked up, don't have a facebook or hide it. If you don't want people to share something you told them, tell them it's a secret. That's all.

And then your response kinda gets me to this response by gendarme:

@deleted_user4 No. Internet-acquaintances are not meaningful to everyone as they are to you. One does not necessarily care more about a person in this community than a complete internet-stranger simply due to having "known" them for more than a year. Sharing the discovered Facebook-account of a random person on the internet is not wrong and certainly does not make one a scumbag.

You love your moral high ground and claim to be caring, but ironically all you do is flame people who do not share your opinions when you're not busy shitposting. You insist on calling this person an asshole and a scumbag, but if there is one person in this community who deserves those names it is you yourself. Try to take a look in the mirror for once.

You really do instantly take moral high ground here: "oh it's so inconsiderate, that guy is a scumbag!" While in reality, you're condemning very normal human behaviour. That's why Gendarme, and I too, perceive your post as someone taking moral high ground, trying to make yourself look nice and caring, while calling others that have a different view or behave normally scumbags. I don't think it'd have gotten such a heavy response if this was the first time you did this, but I've noticed you do this a lot. And a lot too me, to the point where I would consider it an attempt to 'bully' me. Whenever I have a non-positive view on something on this forum, you, spanky and sometimes others personally attack me and call me a negative person. I call it an attempt because I don't really care that much and am quite capable of standing up for myself here (btw please don't consider me a victim), but that's why I am calling you out on this stuff.

You're literally just saying you shouldn't be considerate to people

You don't have to be considerate to people if you don't want to. PC culture is really deep in you americans man.

It’s funny how Jeroms gotten so anti pc he sees the horrible “pcness” everywhere and forcing his anti pcness on people way more than anyone being pc is. Should just ban him for trolling tbh, no ones that’s dumb.

I only said you don't have to be nice to people. It bothers me about many Americans and typically pc people to be honest.. Somehow people around here think the only viable vision on the world is one where we're living in a flowercoated paradise, while having to condemn everyone that thinks differently. I think it's better to just see things the way they are and let people think whatever they think. But I don't even know how you've gotten that out of this thread.

This is another point. If you look closely at what fightinfrenchman is saying is that you should be considerate to people, to which I reply you don't really have to be so. It's normal to not be considerate towards people you don't like and normally people aren't actually overly considerate to people they don't know. I don't really consider many esoc people people I know, and I also consider many people unfriendly towards me, so I don't feel like being considerate towards them. There are nice people in the community, that are nice to me, that don't always judge me for having a relatively harsh and straightforward personality, so I chill with those. Doesn't really make me a terrible human being, and doesn't make it so that I don't have friends like Gibson implied (quite the contrary actually, there's not enough time for the friends I have right now). The fact that I bring PC culture into this is maybe a bit unrelated, but I just can't stand the almost forced positivism on ESOC. Either you're supportive, you say positive things and condemn all sorts of behaviour (even if it's just normal), or you're going to get a bunch of hate from a bunch of people. It bothers me a lot, because I could never be a person like this - what bothers me more is that people (gibson especially with his high class ad hominems) make it seem as if not following this vision makes you a mean, bad and unfriendly person while I am in fact very considerate and kind towards the people that are nice to me.

The bottom line is that I'm bothered by a group of ESOC users that take every opportunity to call someone negative or condemn something about someone, even if he is just being honest. I get that it is your opinion, but it's simply a dickhead move to constantly share that. That's my entire point. I am standing up to this because I basically perceive it as an act of bullying. Just take snuden, providing us an excellent example of my point. Snuden explains how he likes to live his life, and then people jump onto him pointing out that he's weird and doing something wrong. Basically, these people are just mocking Snuden's life for no reason (or well, they do get to showcase their moral compass I suppose). I would never sit idly by when this happens in real life, and apperantly not on ESOC either. Have whatever opinion you want, but just don't pick on people for having an opinion.

I'm not going to address the second half of this as I think we've beaten it to death.

Regarding sharing of personal information, this is really weird that we're debating it.

The whole post started because somebody made a donation, through which they were doxxed and their facebook and / or email address shared. That is not OK. The fact that you can't see that's not OK is quite remarkable.

For example, I have worked very hard to develop the relationships and career that I have. The idea that somebody from eso-community who may dislike me would be snooping around my FB with the ability to contact my friends or co-workers makes me uncomfortable. For this reason, I do not post my email address or facebook. Yes, it is extremely unlikely, but the possibility is enough for me that I absolutely refuse to share any of my personal info online.

If, by accident, that information is leaked through some donation / registration, etc., it is not unreasonable to expect that information won't be propagated. There is, literally, no constructive reason that somebody should be sharing other people's personal info like facebooks and email addresses. I have never shared personal, non-public info about anybody online.

If you want to think that's irrational, that's your business, but don't be surprised when people start to stop donating.

[momuuu]

Nobody was doxxed?

Anyways, its wise that you don't share information of yourself here. Its sensible that you expect that its unwise to do share it, if you would dislike it if someone found it.

[VooDoo_BoSs]

Nobody was doxxed?

Anyways, its wise that you don't share information of yourself here. Its sensible that you expect that its unwise to do share it, if you would dislike it if someone found it.

I recently got to know that a person who I made a donation to on a previous occation, was talking about me in discord on Friday night. There he disclosed that he knew my mail adress (because I leave this trail when donating) and could look me up at facebook. He apparently found a woman there (not me though) and shared this info.

Sounds like a dox to me, OP was just lucky that the person shared the wrong facebook address.

[momuuu]

Nobody was doxxed?

Anyways, its wise that you don't share information of yourself here. Its sensible that you expect that its unwise to do share it, if you would dislike it if someone found it.

I recently got to know that a person who I made a donation to on a previous occation, was talking about me in discord on Friday night. There he disclosed that he knew my mail adress (because I leave this trail when donating) and could look me up at facebook. He apparently found a woman there (not me though) and shared this info.

Sounds like a dox to me, OP was just lucky that the person shared the wrong facebook address.

He had an email, said you could just look up spanky on facebook because there's a norwegian girl commenting on the ESOC facebook page (which turned out to be false) and then was surprised that the girl which he thought was spanky was only 23 even though spanky has mentioned she's relatively old many times. Don't know in what world this is defined as doxxing. There wasn't even a facebook adress shared.

[VooDoo_BoSs]

Nobody was doxxed?

Anyways, its wise that you don't share information of yourself here. Its sensible that you expect that its unwise to do share it, if you would dislike it if someone found it.

I recently got to know that a person who I made a donation to on a previous occation, was talking about me in discord on Friday night. There he disclosed that he knew my mail adress (because I leave this trail when donating) and could look me up at facebook. He apparently found a woman there (not me though) and shared this info.

Sounds like a dox to me, OP was just lucky that the person shared the wrong facebook address.

He had an email, said you could just look up spanky on facebook because there's a norwegian girl commenting on the ESOC facebook page (which turned out to be false) and then was surprised that the girl which he thought was spanky was only 23 even though spanky has mentioned she's relatively old many times. Don't know in what world this is defined as doxxing. There wasn't even a facebook adress shared.

He apparently found a woman there (not me though) and shared this info.

[bigsmoke]

Show hidden quotes

Nobody was doxxed?

Anyways, its wise that you don't share information of yourself here. Its sensible that you expect that its unwise to do share it, if you would dislike it if someone found it.

I recently got to know that a person who I made a donation to on a previous occation, was talking about me in discord on Friday night. There he disclosed that he knew my mail adress (because I leave this trail when donating) and could look me up at facebook. He apparently found a woman there (not me though) and shared this info.

Sounds like a dox to me, OP was just lucky that the person shared the wrong facebook address.

He had an email, said you could just look up spanky on facebook because there's a norwegian girl commenting on the ESOC facebook page (which turned out to be false) and then was surprised that the girl which he thought was spanky was only 23 even though spanky has mentioned she's relatively old many times. Don't know in what world this is defined as doxxing. There wasn't even a facebook adress shared.

He apparently found a woman there (not me though) and shared this info.

This didn't happen.

[deleted_user]

@momuuu
Who's bullying who here? lol I'm only defending myself and in no other post made mention of your name or eluded to it as the culprit or offender.

There's context attached to everything. Clearly context is missing from the OP. In the context I saw the actions seemed slimy. In the responses from community members, from OP, it seemed slimy. Clearly it didn't to you. The conversation shifted to be nothing about the OP in short time. As a general rule of thumb I abide by what I said, as general discussion is the only thing which could have occurred from the information provided in the OP. Yes, it appears less egregious than implied, but I still hold by what I said all things considered. I'm not blaming you of anything, it's impossible for me to.

How many times do I need to reiterate what I've already said? I don't know what's happened, but I can read what you post here. I wasn't coming after you until you came after me.

The bottom line is that I'm bothered by a group of ESOC users that take every opportunity to call someone negative or condemn something about someone, even if he is just being honest

I couldn't have said it better

[momuuu]

@momuuu
Who's bullying who here? lol I'm only defending myself and in no other post made mention of your name or eluded to it as the culprit or offender.

There's context attached to everything. Clearly context is missing from the OP. In the context I saw the actions seemed slimy. In the responses from community members, from OP, it seemed slimy. Clearly it didn't to you. The conversation shifted to be nothing about the OP in short time. As a general rule of thumb I abide by what I said, as general discussion is the only thing which could have occurred from the information provided in the OP. Yes, it appears less egregious than implied, but I still hold by what I said all things considered. I'm not blaming you of anything, it's impossible for me to.

How many times do I need to reiterate what I've already said? I don't know what's happened, but I can read what you post here. I wasn't coming after you until you came after me.

The bottom line is that I'm bothered by a group of ESOC users that take every opportunity to call someone negative or condemn something about someone, even if he is just being honest

I couldn't have said it better

Call this what this is: the streamer's an asshole.

People who share things expressed in PMs are being inconsiderate and impolite. It's quite simple. Using a donor's online paper trail from paypal to try to find their personal information is weird and creepy. There is no legality discussion to have, it's just scumbags being scumbags because they don't like someone. But apprently that's okay, and it's not a scumbag's fault, and the people who feel betrayed need lessons on internet anonymity and legislature, not any sort of compassion.

You did come after someone. It doesn't matter if it's me or someone else.

[gibson]

everyone who doesnt agree with me is mentally challenged and an idiot

[evilcheadar]

see this is why I don't close touchy threads if I can help it.

this is a great read

viewtopic.php?f=318&t=4573

that's spam/trolling, not a difficult topic

relevant: https://i.imgur.com/nDz3c5z.jpg

I know it actually happened, so im not sure how it's troll/spam.

[spanky4ever]

Show hidden quotes

Nobody was doxxed?

Anyways, its wise that you don't share information of yourself here. Its sensible that you expect that its unwise to do share it, if you would dislike it if someone found it.

I recently got to know that a person who I made a donation to on a previous occation, was talking about me in discord on Friday night. There he disclosed that he knew my mail adress (because I leave this trail when donating) and could look me up at facebook. He apparently found a woman there (not me though) and shared this info.

Sounds like a dox to me, OP was just lucky that the person shared the wrong facebook address.

He had an email, said you could just look up spanky on facebook because there's a norwegian girl commenting on the ESOC facebook page (which turned out to be false) and then was surprised that the girl which he thought was spanky was only 23 even though spanky has mentioned she's relatively old many times. Don't know in what world this is defined as doxxing. There wasn't even a facebook adress shared.

He apparently found a woman there (not me though) and shared this info.

This didn't happen.

You did find a woman though who you thought could be me, based on info you got from my donation. And you did share info about her, her age for one thing, and her having aoe info on her homepage. I was not there, and I really do not know what else you could have been sharing. What you did share though, could in worst case scenario provide info so other ppl could identefy this person (me).
You said you where sorry about it, but now it seems you are trying to white wash it all away. Thats pretty sad.

As to the thing Jerom is saying: that I displayed info on the Tibia stream about my health. That is not true. Tibia said some things about HIS health situation, and I said I knew a lot about the condition.
I only told ONE person about my healt situation though, and that was you Jerom. That is why I knew straight away, who the person in discord was. I did not name you in my OP - you did that. And instead of eating a little humple pai, and perhaps say you did not know it was privat, or where you got the info from? you went ahead and called me a dickhead, (and a lot of other things aswell).

I really dont want this thread to go on anymore, but I felt it was sort of my duty to call ppl out, who misuse the info they have been given in privat/for their ears only.
If a streamer should be very curious and want to find out who the donater was, nobody can stop him/her from doing that. BUT that info is privilegded and you should keep it to yourself. Over and out

[Goodspeed]

Putting something on Facebook is not the same as making it public for the entire internet, contrary to what some people have been saying ITT. An FB account is about as public as a real name. It's something people just know about you if they know you in real life, but online it is rarely shared. Do we see people sharing their real names here? No, almost never. Sharing your real name is a choice you very consciously make because unlike in real life, it's very hard to hold people accountable if they misuse this information online. Therefore it seems entirely inappropriate to extract this kind of information from an email address that was inadvertently shared, using it to look up an FB account and sharing information found there publicly.

How anyone pointing this out is somehow "overly PC" is beyond me. And, please, a community is a group of people and within a group of people it is a matter of common decency to be considerate of each other's feelings. Very simple stuff.

You feel "bullied" by people calling you out on your shit? Tough. Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/1357/

[blackwidow]

everyone who doesnt agree with me is mentally challenged and an idiot

I disagree with that statement

[Gendarme]

One is PC for demanding that people should write only nice things (and a hypocrite too I might add in all cases ITT). The conversation moved on from Spanky's situation.

[gibson]

It’s just jerom on his crusade of hate against anything he deems to be pc in the slightest and genderme,who believes the world is controlled by a secret society of Jews and so is rebelling against that, so I’m not sure why anyone is listening to them and why this discussion has gone one for so long. It’s common sense to most people that when dealing with other people you should be considerate towards them especially when it costs you nothing. The person who was inconsiderate didn’t realize he was being inconsiderate but has since forth come forward and apologized. Unfortunately people like jerom and genderme think that if they don’t consider something inconsiderate, that nobody should consider it inconsiderate and that it should just be okay. Sadly that’s not the way the world works. Some people have thick skin, some don’t. In most cases, people don’t choose whether or not they get hurt or offended by something, it just happens. The best thing to do is to move on, and just be careful when sharing information about someone irl. Funny and relevant story, jerom unfriended me on Facebook when I made a joke about looking his sister up on Facebook.