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Finland somppukunkku
Jaeger
Donator 02
Posts: 2629
ESO: PrinceOfKabul

29 May 2019, 22:43

Here we archive twitch chat copy pastas. I'll start with a few.

i think its hilarious u kids talking shit about breeze. u wouldnt say this shit to him at lan, hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic.

(not sure about original player in pasta)

This is like one of those goodspeed meta calls where he's like "yeah im stoned and this should totally be a thing in my mind and I'm the dictator of balance patches so we'll randomly buff abus veteran upgrade even though I'm totally stoned have no clue what I'm talking about. And then zoi went like mart you genius madafucker lets get you stoned more often that will make a great patch.


my prediction is snoww will do his stuff, not necessarily very good against water, kynesie will make mistakes and snowww wins, then everyone goes crazy with "look water it's ez to beat"


Did you know that Italian aoe3 pro Garja used to be fucking great (one of the best) in AOE3 RE patch meta. He even created a map with Garja goats to show his GOAT domination in AOE3 and that map is called Kamchatka. Rest in peace Danielle in RE patch, world has never been the same after he lagged away


You think this takes concentration? Try boom in Age of Empires after someone in the game just took the entire fucking water and the stupid monitors have stolen all the TPs from the land, all whilst trying to reach deep into the bag for the extra cheesy dorritos. Now THAT is a skill. This is just a bunch of land players in tight clothes with a room full of genelemen looking intently at you.. uhh no thanks. Ill take the fame of being the #1 ranked water players in all of Indonesia.
Co-Founder of Somali Kabuli Gaming
Homo management SKG
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United States of America GiBthedurrty
Dragoon
Donator 01
Posts: 467
ESO: [YumiW]-GiBthedurrty

29 May 2019, 22:52

HPC isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a player with such low apm micro and macro? The Soumali puts the game on another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a player with his skilL mumbai thugness for the game again. Sepoys breaks records. Urumis breaks Kaiser. Garja write guides about It. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the spanish train.
User avatar
Armenia Sargsyan
Jaeger
Donator 01
Posts: 2270
ESO: Sargsyan
Location: Armenia
GameRanger ID: 2106182

29 May 2019, 22:52

I thought youre the author of the first one
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User avatar
Sweden tabben
Dragoon
EWTNWC LAN Bronze
Posts: 474
ESO: tabben

29 May 2019, 22:53

Should try to include original author of quotes if possible. That kynesie/snowww prediction is by garja during last year's tournament finals :chinese:

Another garja prediction pasta from kaiser and somppu's iro-india showdown the other day:
Garjaaoe3 wrote:my prediction is kaiser is just gonna lose more cause he's tilted and also he insists on playing the same way. he's gonna win hard the time the game goes his way but he's gonna lose every other time it doesnt
Image

Image

*Jeri lames a forward agra vill with nootka*
ramex19 (veni): such nooby shit i will lame you with nats forever
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United States of America GiBthedurrty
Dragoon
Donator 01
Posts: 467
ESO: [YumiW]-GiBthedurrty

29 May 2019, 22:54

hpc xD
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Netherlands edeholland
ESOC Community Team
Donator 01
Posts: 4013
ESO: edeholland
Location: the cloud
GameRanger ID: 4053888

29 May 2019, 22:57

From @robo when explaining what happened in Smackdown.

Kaiserklein's PC died and he was unable to play. So tabben filled in vs Hazza. After some games were played, we had to switch to GR but hazza didn't like that so he left. Then Tabben tabbed out and Soldier jumped in to play vs Kaiser with his fixed pc.

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France kami_ryu
Retired Contributor
Posts: 2024
ESO: kami_ryu & incognoto
Location: Denver, CO, USA, Earth, Milky Way, Virgo Supercluster

29 May 2019, 23:13

oh my god the water quote in the OP murdered me
thanks RK
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Australia robo
Musketeer
Posts: 98
ESO: robo_boro
Location: UK

29 May 2019, 23:31

edeholland wrote:From @robo when explaining what happened in Smackdown.

Kaiserklein's PC died and he was unable to play. So tabben filled in vs Hazza. After some games were played, we had to switch to GR but hazza didn't like that so he left. Then Tabben tabbed out and Soldier jumped in to play vs Kaiser with his fixed pc.




I'm famous :oops:
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United States of America Cometk
ESOC Media Team
Posts: 4231
ESO: DJ_Cometk
Location: California

30 May 2019, 00:49

i dunno why i feel like i relate to pikes on a personal level when they're being sniped trying to helplessly defend bows

welcome to somali esocSomali we are building a resistance against the autocrat G esocG in our free time we smoke trees esocCowHax esocCowHax at the end when we revolt we type gg esocEZ
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Germany Lukas_L99
Howdah
Donator 01
Posts: 1527
ESO: Lukas_L99
Location: Frankfurt

30 May 2019, 01:25

So you're going by "tabben" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Lukas from Highschool. Remember me? Me and the girls used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Hazza the guy you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and drive a mustang GT. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic..
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United States of America GiBthedurrty
Dragoon
Donator 01
Posts: 467
ESO: [YumiW]-GiBthedurrty

30 May 2019, 01:33

He gives u hard time lukas.
No Flag uberjz
Musketeer
Posts: 54
ESO: uberjz

30 May 2019, 02:54

Need the pasta factory one in here
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Kiribati SirCallen
Gendarme
Posts: 8112
ESO: SirCallen
Location: Midwest best west

30 May 2019, 03:10

Stale pasta
and the giving famishes the craving
sweet thames, run softly, til I end my song

The shepherd's staff's tantalus around my neck

let the water
touch the tongue
Australia Kawapasaka
Lancer
Posts: 601
Location: Wales (new, south)

30 May 2019, 03:45

You thought the series would start at 14 GMT huh? Well think again, retard. This series features the one and only G, hence starting when Garja finished at least 10 warmup games vs Expert Queen Isabella. While waiting, do something productive and pray (facing Cagliari) that Garja doesn't get huntfucked or lose to lag.


I think this was by @tabben
Was a fun twitch chat
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Greece BrookG
ESOC Media Team
Posts: 1286
ESO: BrookG
Location: not Amsterdam

30 May 2019, 06:01

Supermodel Hazza54321, Also known as the London biggest fuckboy, was spotted yesterday at the VIP-section of fancy club of London. Despite tens of hot girls flirting with Hazza, he has decided to set his priorities right and entertain us with his absolutely mad AOE skills. Some people say Hazza is a great player. I would say Hazza is a legend.
Correlation doesn't mean causation.
http://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations

"mr.brookg go buy jeans and goto the club with somppuli" - Princeofkabul, July 2018
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Netherlands edeholland
ESOC Community Team
Donator 01
Posts: 4013
ESO: edeholland
Location: the cloud
GameRanger ID: 4053888

30 May 2019, 09:40

uberjz wrote:Need the pasta factory one in here
I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to ESOCTV's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
It's not really an AoE3 copy-pasta though, just a popular one that has been edited. I like the ESOC's originals the most. Image
Image
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No Flag fightinfrenchman
Gendarme
Donator 04
Posts: 8424

30 May 2019, 09:55

Copy pastas are literally never funny
There's sand in my teeth
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Czech Republic EAGLEMUT
ESOC Dev Team
Donator 05
Posts: 3553
ESO: EAGLEMUT
Location: [WPact]

30 May 2019, 10:01

Copy pastas are literally never funny
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momuuu wrote:theres no way eaglemut is truly a top player
Italy Mosx
Dragoon
Posts: 326
ESO: Mosx themoxie
Location: Viareggio,Italy

30 May 2019, 10:19

Copy pastas are literally never funny
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Netherlands Mr_Bramboy
ESOC Media Team
Donator 01
Posts: 5596
ESO: mr_bramboy
Location: Amsterdam

30 May 2019, 10:28

It should be noted that I've liked every single post from everyone who has disagreed with me here, as far as I know. That said. In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area. An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test. My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it. I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan). I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is. Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories. I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it. I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code. I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them. I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things. I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone. I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care. The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them. I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit "women are crazy" circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren't awesome. That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything's OK when it's really not (and that's a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that). I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments). And, uh, I'm a pretty good moderator. All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?
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No Flag fightinfrenchman
Gendarme
Donator 04
Posts: 8424

30 May 2019, 10:32

Great AoE 3 content there
There's sand in my teeth
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Netherlands Mr_Bramboy
ESOC Media Team
Donator 01
Posts: 5596
ESO: mr_bramboy
Location: Amsterdam

30 May 2019, 10:49

Great AoE 3 content there
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Poland pecelot
Retired Contributor
Donator 03
Posts: 10001
ESO: Pezet
Location: Poland

30 May 2019, 11:06

Great AoE 3 content there
Ars longa, vita brevis :unsure:
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Armenia Sargsyan
Jaeger
Donator 01
Posts: 2270
ESO: Sargsyan
Location: Armenia
GameRanger ID: 2106182

30 May 2019, 12:13

fightinfrenchman wrote:Copy pastas are literally never funny

False
EAGLEMUT wrote:Copy pastas are literally never funny

True
Mosx wrote:Copy pastas are literally never funny

True
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Image
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United States of America Squamiger
Skirmisher
Posts: 144
ESO: Squamiger

30 May 2019, 12:37

i tried

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class playing Deccan 3v3 MS+, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret hussar raids on settler wagons, and I have over 300 confirmed wins with otto on RE GP. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top ESOC stream sniper in the entire esoc patch. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Garja fanboys across Italy and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can FF on Kamchatka in over 700 ways, and that’s just with Germany. Not only am I extensively trained in fast fortresses, but I have access to every single otto jan rush strategy known to vanilla and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the New World. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, and now you’re paying the price. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
ajabu ya kondoo kucheka kioo

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