Road to Lieutenant Colonel

[deleted_user]

After playing Age of Empires 3 continuously-ish for almost 5 years, I've achieved basically nothing. I've racked up zero medals, played LOST my first twenty games on ESO (lul), been hailed as the Chronicler tho which was nice, and spread my degeneracy to the community abroad. I've accumulated thousands of worthless ESOC likes and educated the masses in the arts of "The Delete Resign" and trash strategies like Tower FI to boot. I've earned an EPL Champion badge despite not playing a single game or managing a single player and also I've dismantled tons of forum jimmies. I've been everywhere and done just about everything this game has to offer except for the places I haven't been and the things I haven't done.

However, for everything that I have achieved, there is one aspect in which I am sorely not lacking: my Supremacy-playing mediocrity, which I possess in spades.

My goal is simple: achieve the mediocre rank of PR32 Lieutenant Colonel even though I've already achieved that goal on two other main accounts. What will be my crowning achievement, I have already streamed the entire adventure on my personal twitch channel. The three time, baby. "Suck my lt col peen."

What's m̶o̶r̶e̶ less is that I attempted and accomplished this feat with a reverse-handicap, playing against SirMusket. I must give a thank you to @sirmusket for the inspiration and confidence to embark on this quest (oh and @Cometk I guess). I principally aimed to stay roughly the same skill level, but maybe, along the way, dear reader, you might stay roughly the same skill level too.

This thread details my journey with no exceptions. Every single game queued, match won, defeat conceded, and connection lost will be documented here with insights, analyses and extrapolations as to my quotidian mindset and performance.

Thank you for being a passenger with me in this same-skilling expedition. Without further ado, LET'S GO!

Prelude, Day 1, and also Conclusion

Starting rank: PR 30.96
Game 1

[deleted_user]

Prelude, Day 1, and also Conclusion

Dutch and British vs India and Japan on Alaska
June 27th, 2020

So in this game I'm playing versus a known cheater and a colonel who carried me to EPL victory, so I have conflicting feelings about the upcoming bash. My teammate is some random lt col brazzilian lagger but he's actually pretty good and I like how he acts. He tells me what to do which is good because I never know what to do. The game has 2000 milliseconds of lag and I'm a little tilted that my new mouse is broken just like my old mouse, but broken differently. Why things break?

My OP teammate scouts that both our opponents' decks are heavy on the water play, so we decide to rush. I execute great macro and make a big musk spam but musks aren't too great against yumi and gurkhas. So my teammate tells me to go cav, and I ship 6 musk instead. My game plan here was to just z move the agra in lag with a billion musks and that's exactly what I did. The agra goes down, but India ages up and my musks are accomplishing absolutely nothing. Japan adds cav and starts ashi raiding me like a colonel, and I lose lots of vills like an almost-lieutenant-colonel. Luckily, I'm playing against SirMusket.

After losing vills and the enemy kind of pushing us back, I finally add hussars. SirMusket decides that even though I've lost a lot of vills and they are holding our push and both are on water and India desperately needs some map, SirMusket decides to go IV while making rice paddies. I right click him with one million musketeers and 10 hussar and my teammate and I claim the W, and I finally claim the goal I had set for myself only after I had already won the game. gg ez.

[Ashvin]

lol
EDIT: Callen make a compilation thread "Official compilation of Road to X"

[harcha]

that post deserved a self-like

[TheNameDaniel]

lol

[Kickass_OP]

Collen

[Qosashvili93]

Road to colonel

Hmm would be interesting to try but sadly my destiny is to be captain

So I will just support u in way your goal

[Riotcoke]

Congrats callen, knew you had it in you!

[Mitoe]

Road to Callenol next?

[deleted_user]

Road to Callenol next?

No.

[n0el]

Road back to major?

[Zutazuta]

Road back to major?

There and back again, Callen's tale.