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Bosnia & Herzegovina medinos
Lancer
Posts: 740
ESO: AlexBoye,Daddysmurf
Location: GRAND LINE

22 Mar 2018, 03:41

Some of you remember me of random things, but I always wanted to come out about something that was in my feelings and heart since I felt something.
I love boys after I had a kiss with a boy I changed as a person I felt more happy than ever.
Im really affraid to come out to my parents because it is killing me i can not love girls I do not feel to them anything even if I try Im lost sometimes help me....
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United States of America Cometk
Tournament Admin
Posts: 4480
ESO: DJ_Cometk
Location: California

22 Mar 2018, 04:12

hey bud. you don't necessarily have to come out to your family. it can be very liberating, however if you don't want to take the risk, you can start by focusing on how you feel about yourself. do what makes you feel right. at the end of the day, you're not hurting anyone because you're homosexual, so why should you feel bad about it? i have a kink that, growing up, confused me a lot, but i came to terms with it on my own over time. i disclosed it with some close friends and the general reaction was supportive. your sexuality doesn't need to define your identity! it's just a small part of you; do what makes you happy and the people around you will come to accept who you are.
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Tuvalu gibson
Gendarme
Posts: 9379
Location: USA

22 Mar 2018, 04:25

I wouldn't tell your parents if you think they won't be accepting of you. It's 2k18, most westernized cultures are fine with homosexuality. That being said, many people aren't and if you come out there will be people who dislike you for it. It's important for you to stay true to yourself, and not try to change because you feel like you have to fit in with the people around you.
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Kiribati SirCallen
Gendarme
Posts: 8704
ESO: SirCallen
Location: Midwest best west

22 Mar 2018, 05:05

I support you, medinos, and your pursuit of happiness.

There will be those who will attempt to renounce you for merely being yourself -- what a sad and confused notion this is.

"Be convinced that to be happy means to be free and that to be free means to be brave." -Thucydides

This is a difficult and scary time. But there is nothing wrong with the person you are. Be proud of yourself. And good luck :smile:
and the giving famishes the craving
sweet thames, run softly, til I end my song

The shepherd's staff's tantalus around my neck

please stop eating :food:
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Serbia sirmusket
Jaeger
Posts: 2228
ESO: ModernDayWarri0r
Location: SRBIJA

22 Mar 2018, 06:09

medinos wrote:Some of you remember me of random things, but I always wanted to come out about something that was in my feelings and heart since I felt something.
I love boys after I had a kiss with a boy I changed as a person I felt more happy than ever.
Im really affraid to come out to my parents because it is killing me i can not love girls I do not feel to them anything even if I try Im lost sometimes help me....

I knew it from the first time I talked to you lel
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Greece Googol
Retired Contributor
Posts: 1691
ESO: G00g0l
Location: Constantinople

22 Mar 2018, 06:12

As long as you’re not in Russia or any Slavic/Eastern country, people will accept you for who you are.

Do what you have to do to be happy ;)
India Ashvin
Retired Contributor
Posts: 2120
ESO: Octanium

22 Mar 2018, 06:14

Googol wrote:As long as you’re not in Russia or any Slavic/Eastern country, people will accept you for who you are.

Do what you have to do to be happy ;)

That is not a very accurate statement tbh.
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Serbia sirmusket
Jaeger
Posts: 2228
ESO: ModernDayWarri0r
Location: SRBIJA

22 Mar 2018, 06:16

Googol wrote:As long as you’re not in Russia or any Slavic/Eastern country, people will accept you for who you are.

Do what you have to do to be happy ;)

I was just about to say this ^^
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Spain Snuden
Jaeger
Posts: 3046
ESO: Snuden
Location: x666 HQ

22 Mar 2018, 06:52

Hmm
36: This herd, was not herded correctly towards his town center
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Spain Snuden
Jaeger
Posts: 3046
ESO: Snuden
Location: x666 HQ

22 Mar 2018, 06:58

Yea, don't tell your parents.
36: This herd, was not herded correctly towards his town center
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France kami_ryu
Retired Contributor
Posts: 2196
ESO: kami_ryu & incognoto
Location: Denver, CO, USA, Earth, Milky Way, Virgo Supercluster

22 Mar 2018, 10:01

For obvious reasons, maybe a thread where we discuss coming out to family members isn't the best thread to discuss whether homosexuality is a choice. Nothing wrong with the topic itself but I think that Medinos is looking for advice, not an analysis on his orientation.

I humbly request we take that discussion elsewhere and focus on giving medinos tangible advice and/or sympathy.
thanks RK
No Flag lejend
Howdah
Posts: 1382

22 Mar 2018, 10:26

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No Flag fightinfrenchman
Gendarme
Donator 04
Posts: 9796

22 Mar 2018, 13:19

@medinos Despite what some shitty people may say there is nothing wrong with being gay. Obviously it's up to you if you want to reveal that to family/friends, and that depends on how such a thing is viewed in your culture.

Assuming you're not trolling, I hope this experience gives you the opportunity to empathize with other groups/peoples who have been discriminated against given your history of posts here.
The doctor says it makes me stronger than your average Joe
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Serbia sirmusket
Jaeger
Posts: 2228
ESO: ModernDayWarri0r
Location: SRBIJA

22 Mar 2018, 13:20

fightinfrenchman wrote:@medinos Despite what some shitty people may say there is nothing wrong with being gay. Obviously it's up to you if you want to reveal that to family/friends, and that depends on how such a thing is viewed in your culture.

Assuming you're not trolling, I hope this experience gives you the opportunity to empathize with other groups/peoples who have been discriminated against given your history of posts here.

wow mod the fucking :ear: already
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Tuvalu gibson
Gendarme
Posts: 9379
Location: USA

22 Mar 2018, 13:22

@lejend ofc I'm talking about you. Maybe homophobic isn't the right word. I'll go with uneducated and ignorant instead.
No Flag lejend
Howdah
Posts: 1382

22 Mar 2018, 13:24

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Kiribati SirCallen
Gendarme
Posts: 8704
ESO: SirCallen
Location: Midwest best west

22 Mar 2018, 13:31

An endearing thread before the relentless and arbitrary moral condemnation from lejend.

I want to voice my support, again, medinos, for your rightful pursuit of happiness. It is possible you feel you have no one to confess these feelings to in real life. I am touched by your decision to share such feelings here. I pray such an experience, while not without its unfortunate trials, has left you with a positive experience in some way or another.

There's a lot of support from a lot of users sadly being out-typed by a misguided individual.
and the giving famishes the craving
sweet thames, run softly, til I end my song

The shepherd's staff's tantalus around my neck

please stop eating :food:
No Flag lejend
Howdah
Posts: 1382

22 Mar 2018, 13:41

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Kiribati SirCallen
Gendarme
Posts: 8704
ESO: SirCallen
Location: Midwest best west

22 Mar 2018, 13:47

lejend wrote:
SirCallen wrote:An endearing thread before the relentless and arbitrary moral condemnation from lejend.

I want to voice my support, again, medinos, for your rightful pursuit of happiness. It is possible you feel you have no one to confess these feelings to in real life. I am touched by your decision to share such feelings here. I pray such an experience, while not without its unfortunate trials, has left you with a positive experience in some way or another.

There's a lot of support from a lot of users sadly being out-typed by a misguided individual.


Where is the "condemnation"?

Your virtue signaling has been noted. You're an angel, Callen. We simple mortals can only hope to be half as moral as you are.

Do you have more to add?

Just offering my support.
and the giving famishes the craving
sweet thames, run softly, til I end my song

The shepherd's staff's tantalus around my neck

please stop eating :food:
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United States of America XeeleeFlower
Retired Contributor
Xeelee Patron
Posts: 883

22 Mar 2018, 13:50

Could we please keep the discussion about how to come out to your family. How does one tell their parents, family, and friends something difficult and something that they feel will be met negatively? I am thinking of splitting this thread into a separate topic.
okay
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Italy gamevideo113
Howdah
Posts: 1321
ESO: gamevideo113

22 Mar 2018, 13:56

XeeleeFlower wrote:Could we please keep the discussion about how to come out to your family. How does one tell their parents, family, and friends something difficult and something that they feel will be met negatively? I am thinking of splitting this thread into a separate topic.

Please do :flowers:
[Some people aspire to be pr30+, some people aspire to have fun, and some people aspire to play 3v3 Deccan.] - vividlyplain - 2019

Who (nationality) rape ?
stupid logic. noob players can say op?
toxic, Insult, Racism ?
No Flag lejend
Howdah
Posts: 1382

22 Mar 2018, 13:58

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Italy gamevideo113
Howdah
Posts: 1321
ESO: gamevideo113

22 Mar 2018, 14:04

lejend wrote:Whether he acts on it is up to him, but he should know that he has other options besides being gay. He should also know what to expect if he goes through with it. This is giving him advice. It might not be the advice that everyone likes, but a lot of gay people wish people had given it to them. Heck, if I didn't care, I would've just ignored the thread. If he wants it, though, then of course this can be moved to a new thread.

gamevideo113 wrote:@lejend i suggest you to watch "Call me by your name". It's a great movie.


I read the plot but couldn't figure out what I'm supposed to see? Seems like just an empty affair with no point.

I suggested you to watch the movie, not to read the plot :smile:
Btw, i think you are mistaken in believing that one own's sexual orientation is bound to one's willpower. It can change, sure. Nobody can simply decide it though.

Also, for medinos: what you should do really depends on the people you have around. If they really care about you they will accept every aspect of you, from what they like the most, to what they might like less. I don't know the context you live in, so i can't tell you exactly what i think you should do, but keep that in mind. It might not be easy, but pursuing happyness is always worth the effort in the end :smile:
Now that i'm at it i will suggest you too to watch "Call me by your name", i don't want to say it was an enlightening experience for me, but it definitely gave me a whole new perspective on things.
[Some people aspire to be pr30+, some people aspire to have fun, and some people aspire to play 3v3 Deccan.] - vividlyplain - 2019

Who (nationality) rape ?
stupid logic. noob players can say op?
toxic, Insult, Racism ?
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Tuvalu gibson
Gendarme
Posts: 9379
Location: USA

22 Mar 2018, 14:07

lejend wrote:think we should wait for medinos to get back before deciding this thread's topic, creating a new one, etc. It's still medinos' thread and he gets to decide what he wants to be discussed here. So let's not decide for him.
he decided in the title and the first post,so go derail some other thread
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United States of America XeeleeFlower
Retired Contributor
Xeelee Patron
Posts: 883

22 Mar 2018, 14:13

@medinos If you're still living with your parents and feel that they will react in a negative way, don't tell them now. Wait until you have moved out of their house and are able to support yourself financially and emotionally. If you already have moved out, I would wait until you're in a neutral surroundings where they aren't able to shame you and cause you to feel bad. Take them out to dinner. Bring a trusted friend with you. Don't let your parents find out from someone else. You need to be the one that tells them. It's very important for your future trust with each other.

If I may ask, why are you afraid to come out to your parents? Do they have negative reactions towards other sexualities? Do you have other siblings, and if so, do they know? Do you think that they will stand by your side, or do you feel that they will react negatively?

Everyone else, discuss sexuality here: viewtopic.php?f=315&t=14053
okay

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