Real love...
What is this even? The first kiss with the first love? Sharing the same interests? Being together 24/7? Have your own freedom?
What is important for you to stay in a relationship?
What do you expect from the girl who you want to be together with?
Is optic more important than character? Or both?
How long was your longest relationship?
How do guys think about love?
I'm so curious! I need answers to this questions. Please help!
Do you believe in love?
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QueenOfdestiny - Retired Contributor
- Posts: 2139
- Joined: Aug 9, 2016
- ESO: QueenOfdestiny
Do you believe in love?
shit juice 
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deleted_user0 - Ninja
- Posts: 13004
- Joined: Apr 28, 2020
Re: Do you believe in love?
Love, as opposed to being in love or having a crush is a connection deepened over time based on a foundation of familiarity, usually through shared experiences. Imo, Love is deeply rooted in memory which help create a feeling of nostalgia about the past. But it's not just the traditional mental memory, also a more physical form of memory (like muscle memory, but in this case more like skin memory, I guess), where your body somehow remembers things.
Important is commitment and devotion, obviously to the other person, but also to yourself. Doing it to one or the other is easy, finding balance between the two is hard. Besides that of course there needs to be honesty and openness which are the bedrock for arguably the most important quality of any healthy relationship (not even relationships involving any form of necessarily), trust. I didn't mention love because I don't think that love is a singular quality, but rather made up from other things, but also because it's not a necessary or sufficient condition for a healthy relationship. You can have a good relationship without love. And you can love someone a lot, and yet the relationship can be unhealthy. Even when you have both at some point, it's possible, and in fact very common for one to end before the other. Loving someone and having a relationship are not the same thing. The former is, or ought to be, unconditional, at least for it to be true. Relationships are based on a great many conditions, and if the majority of those conditions, or any of the necessary conditions aren't met, there can't be a good relationship, or perhaps no relationship at all.
Besides the above, obviously, I'm attracted to women who are intelligent and have something meaningful to talk about. Who can be passionate about a topic that has more depth and individual character than the latest fashion trend. It doesn't really matter what, sports, art, politics, science, a career.
But I also love someone with a good sense of humor, which obviously means my sense of humor!
Looks and character are both important. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar, most likely. But I don't think they're equally important. Both are within a range, I think. There are some people I don't necessarily find attractive physically, but because they have great personality, they're attractive overall nonetheless. Some people are gorgeous, but their personality might not really match mine as much as I might like, but she's still attractive. However, some things I just find really offputting, and they would be an instant deal breaker. Then there's also the difference between looking for a fling or a partner, obviously you'll be more selective when it comes to the latter. For example, if it's just for one night, I wouldn't really care if someone smokes, but I would never want to be in a relationship with a smoker. It's more complicated than what I said, but in general I'd say: looks get you interested, character keeps you interested. But it's not always true.
10 years.
Important is commitment and devotion, obviously to the other person, but also to yourself. Doing it to one or the other is easy, finding balance between the two is hard. Besides that of course there needs to be honesty and openness which are the bedrock for arguably the most important quality of any healthy relationship (not even relationships involving any form of necessarily), trust. I didn't mention love because I don't think that love is a singular quality, but rather made up from other things, but also because it's not a necessary or sufficient condition for a healthy relationship. You can have a good relationship without love. And you can love someone a lot, and yet the relationship can be unhealthy. Even when you have both at some point, it's possible, and in fact very common for one to end before the other. Loving someone and having a relationship are not the same thing. The former is, or ought to be, unconditional, at least for it to be true. Relationships are based on a great many conditions, and if the majority of those conditions, or any of the necessary conditions aren't met, there can't be a good relationship, or perhaps no relationship at all.
Besides the above, obviously, I'm attracted to women who are intelligent and have something meaningful to talk about. Who can be passionate about a topic that has more depth and individual character than the latest fashion trend. It doesn't really matter what, sports, art, politics, science, a career.
But I also love someone with a good sense of humor, which obviously means my sense of humor!
Looks and character are both important. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar, most likely. But I don't think they're equally important. Both are within a range, I think. There are some people I don't necessarily find attractive physically, but because they have great personality, they're attractive overall nonetheless. Some people are gorgeous, but their personality might not really match mine as much as I might like, but she's still attractive. However, some things I just find really offputting, and they would be an instant deal breaker. Then there's also the difference between looking for a fling or a partner, obviously you'll be more selective when it comes to the latter. For example, if it's just for one night, I wouldn't really care if someone smokes, but I would never want to be in a relationship with a smoker. It's more complicated than what I said, but in general I'd say: looks get you interested, character keeps you interested. But it's not always true.
10 years.
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deleted_user
- Ninja
- Posts: 14364
- Joined: Mar 26, 2015
Re: Do you believe in love?
I don't believe in polyamory, that's for sure.
Excepting high school, 1 month. But I met this really great girl recently.
Excepting high school, 1 month. But I met this really great girl recently.
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deleted_user0
- Ninja
- Posts: 13004
- Joined: Apr 28, 2020
Re: Do you believe in love?
I do. But whether polyamory and polygamy are consistent with Western values and ideas about love, sexuality, relationships and identity, that's another matter.
Multiple loves is a given, in my opinion. You can love your family, your friends, your partner, all at the same time, so why wouldn't you be able to love two partners (whether you can love them equally, or anyone for that matter, is the more rekevant question). You can have multiple sexual relationships at the same time, too. With or without love. Whether it's possible to have one relationship, as typically defined in hollywood movies, with multiple people at the same time. Or multiple such relationships with different people at the same time, i'm not sure if that's possible. Not for most in any case, definitely not in the light of society's view on this and most people's upbringing. However, the Western idea of a monogamous love relationship is quite odd imo, or rather, it seems out of time.
Multiple loves is a given, in my opinion. You can love your family, your friends, your partner, all at the same time, so why wouldn't you be able to love two partners (whether you can love them equally, or anyone for that matter, is the more rekevant question). You can have multiple sexual relationships at the same time, too. With or without love. Whether it's possible to have one relationship, as typically defined in hollywood movies, with multiple people at the same time. Or multiple such relationships with different people at the same time, i'm not sure if that's possible. Not for most in any case, definitely not in the light of society's view on this and most people's upbringing. However, the Western idea of a monogamous love relationship is quite odd imo, or rather, it seems out of time.
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XeeleeFlower - Retired Contributor
- Posts: 1650
- Joined: Aug 28, 2016
- Location: Netherlands
Re: Do you believe in love?
There are many different types of love. There's the passionate love (lust/attraction), friendly love (how you feel towards friends/family), romantic love (understanding and accepting someone with whom you wish to share the rest of your life), and empathetic love (caring for humanity as a whole). Romantic love is a choice (as much as one can "choose" somethingQueenOfdestiny wrote:Real love...
What is this even? The first kiss with the first love? Sharing the same interests? Being together 24/7? Have your own freedom?
) in that you choose to accept one's faults without any expectations for them to change. You choose to share your life and all that you are with this person as well as let them share theirs and themselves with you. This is something that deepens and grows over time. Love should give you freedom. Being with someone 24/7 doesn't seem healthy since it limits personal growth. Sharing some of the same interests can deepen the relationship, but if there are too many similar interests, it could lead to boredom and/or also limit personal growth. For me, I need and want someone who complements me, not someone who is too similar to being me. Open communication, trust, being emotionally available, and inspiring/supporting me to be the best me I can be.What is important for you to stay in a relationship?
Honesty.What do you expect from the girl who you want to be together with?
Don't care what someone looks like as long as they take care of themselves. Hygiene and basic self care is important to me.Is optic more important than character? Or both?
10 years.How long was your longest relationship?
Fire - beautiful and warm, but can burn you.How do guys think about love?
You don't believe in it as in it's against your moral code, or you don't feel that it's possible?deleted_user wrote:I don't believe in polyamory, that's for sure.
Edit: lol @deleted_user and I having similar thoughts.
Time is wise and our wounds seem to heal to the rhythm of aging,
But our past is a ghost fading out that at night it’s still haunting.
http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html
But our past is a ghost fading out that at night it’s still haunting.
http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html
Re: Do you believe in love?
I've also had (and still do to an extent) this weird love/hate relationship with a girl. We tried to live together 2-3 times, but that didn't work out at all.
Every time we either meet or talk on Skype, we both get this crazy need to have sex. It's not even because the sex is THAT good.
A particular mind trick I used was to not show up when we agreed to meet and not answering her calls or messages, when she wrote to tell me to burn in hell.
After 4-5 days of her raging, I would respond and tell her to come and fuck me. The sex was amazing.
Every time we either meet or talk on Skype, we both get this crazy need to have sex. It's not even because the sex is THAT good.
A particular mind trick I used was to not show up when we agreed to meet and not answering her calls or messages, when she wrote to tell me to burn in hell.
After 4-5 days of her raging, I would respond and tell her to come and fuck me. The sex was amazing.
[Sith] - Baphomet
Re: Do you believe in love?
So through the eyes love attains the heart:
For the eyes are the scouts of the heart,
And the eyes go reconnoitering
For what it would please the heart to possess.
And when they are in full accord
And firm, all three, in the one resolve,
At that time, perfect love is born
From what the eyes have made welcome to the heart.
Not otherwise can love either be born or have commencement
Than by this birth and commencement moved by inclination.
By the grace and by command
Of these three, and from their pleasure,
Love is born, who its fair hope
Goes comforting her friends.
For as all true lovers
Know, love is perfect kindness,
Which is born -- there is no doubt -- from the heart and eyes.
The eyes make it blossom; the heart matures it:
Love, which is the fruit of their very seed.
--Guiraut de Borneilh (ca. 1138-1200?)
For the eyes are the scouts of the heart,
And the eyes go reconnoitering
For what it would please the heart to possess.
And when they are in full accord
And firm, all three, in the one resolve,
At that time, perfect love is born
From what the eyes have made welcome to the heart.
Not otherwise can love either be born or have commencement
Than by this birth and commencement moved by inclination.
By the grace and by command
Of these three, and from their pleasure,
Love is born, who its fair hope
Goes comforting her friends.
For as all true lovers
Know, love is perfect kindness,
Which is born -- there is no doubt -- from the heart and eyes.
The eyes make it blossom; the heart matures it:
Love, which is the fruit of their very seed.
--Guiraut de Borneilh (ca. 1138-1200?)
Re: Do you believe in love?
I am currently in love so yes I do believe in love.
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