Why You Should Sit Down to Piss

[deleted_user]

1) Overspray eliminated - if you think you don't spray little piss droplets all around onto the seat, floor, and your pants while you piss you're simply wrong, and what your piggy eyes don't see is still there. Have half a mind and care.
2) Blind people piss sitting down - and so should you, when pissing at night and don't want to dilate your pupils and disrupt your sleep or if you're inebriated beyond motor function.
3) Post-ejaculation stream-splitters are already taken care of before they spill.
4) Sitting is easier than standing - nevermind the new adage, "sitting is the new smoking" sitting feels better than standing. Hell, why not light up while you're on the throne?! And lean back.
5) Alone time - is most heightened when in a state of comfort. Sit, breathe, shipost, and sit a little while longer. No one can touch you in a bathroom, and no worries exist in such a touch-less place.

[Riotcoke]

You missed the fact that you get to go on your phone while pissing sitting down

[deleted_user]

You missed the fact that you get to go on your phone while pissing sitting down

You must get this a lot - you look just like cometk.

[Riotcoke]

You missed the fact that you get to go on your phone while pissing sitting down

You must get this a lot - you look just like cometk.

Some random woman in Manchester thought we were siblings.

[fightinfrenchman]

Completely agree

[deleted_user]

This thread is a resounding success, and I deserve a medal.

[fightinfrenchman]

This thread is a resounding success, and I deserve a medal.

Endorse my idea for "ESOC Gold"

[Riotcoke]

This thread is a resounding success, and I deserve a medal.

Endorse my idea for "ESOC Gold"

Waste of money.

[fightinfrenchman]

As a member of the Media Team shouldn't you support people donating to ESOC?

[Riotcoke]

No comment.

[deleted_user0]

Counter arguments:

1. Pissing while standing improves your accuracy. This skill is useful for example in bars and night clubs as you don't have to wait for the stall.
2. I'm sure with a decent aim there are no droplets.
3. Standing saves time. By flushing the toilet before you finish makes you faster. Also, if you watch your phone you might be much slower. Assuming you save 30 seconds peeing while standing, per day, that sums to more than 3 hours per year.
4. It feels more masculine (inb4 toxic masculinity crap)
5. You don't have to sit on a dirty toilet seat.

No medal, imo.

[deleted_user]

Counter arguments:

1. Pissing while standing improves your accuracy. This skill is useful for example in bars and night clubs as you don't have to wait for the stall.
2. I'm sure with a decent aim there are no droplets.
3. Standing saves time. By flushing the toilet before you finish makes you faster. Also, if you watch your phone you might be much slower. Assuming you save 30 seconds peeing while standing, per day, that sums to more than 3 hours per year.
4. It feels more masculine (inb4 toxic masculinity crap)
5. You don't have to sit on a dirty toilet seat.

No medal, imo.

1) I concede one should at least practice standing aim for this occasion
2) There are droplets - if I had money I would set up a high res high speed camera at the plane normal to the toilet bowl's edge and I bet it'll look like a shower for little creatures.
3) Not posting on ESOC saves time, never walking saves time, speeding with reckless abandonment saves times. Besides, this doesn't avoid stream-splitters which are a real plague whenever it happens, unless you're sitting down.
4) Standing is masculine, yes, but what is even more masculine? Using yer noggin.
5) This thread is exclusively meant for residential toilets one feels comfortable sitting on.

I forgot:

6) Stealth piss - no resounding noise of waterfall echoing through house.

[fightinfrenchman]

@deleted_user4 I'll pay you $100 to use a high speed camera to film yourself pissing

[kami_ryu]

-- deleted post --

[deleted_user]

I legit sit down to piss when at someone else's place just because it's just slightly cleaner.

A fellow man of the arts.

[fightinfrenchman]

Glad to see some consensus on this issue.

Now who is brave enough to admit that they sometimes stand up to shit?

[Amsel_]

1) Overspray eliminated - if you think you don't spray little piss droplets all around onto the seat, floor, and your pants while you piss you're simply wrong, and what your piggy eyes don't see is still there. Have half a mind and care.
2) Blind people piss sitting down - and so should you, when pissing at night and don't want to dilate your pupils and disrupt your sleep or if you're inebriated beyond motor function.
3) Post-ejaculation stream-splitters are already taken care of before they spill.
4) Sitting is easier than standing - nevermind the new adage, "sitting is the new smoking" sitting feels better than standing. Hell, why not light up while you're on the throne?! And lean back.
5) Alone time - is most heightened when in a state of comfort. Sit, breathe, shipost, and sit a little while longer. No one can touch you in a bathroom, and no worries exist in such a touch-less place.

1) Good point, it's pretty annoying to have to wipe up the area around the toilet whenever guests come over.
2) I always turn the light on. It's a signal so that no one walks in on you.
3) Wait is it ejaculation that causes that? I've never made the connection.
4) I don't know if anyone else does this, but I'm super peculiar about peeing before doing pretty much anything, like playing another round of a video game, watching a long video, going for a walk, etc. Relaxing would take too much time imo.
5) Can't you do this without peeing, though?

3/10 would fall for discord tranny propaganda again. But we all know that the patrician way of relieving yourself is to do a pull up on the shower curtain rod and pee on the wall. It all drizzles straight down into the bathtub. No messes and you get fit!

[Snuden]

I only sit down if my penis is erect.

[Snuden]

There is another instance where sitting down is preferred, but I wont mention that here!

[Jam]

I peed standing up once while wearing shorts. I felt the microsplatter hitting my legs. Ever since I have been a sitter.

[Jam]

Counter arguments:

1. Pissing while standing improves your accuracy. This skill is useful for example in bars and night clubs as you don't have to wait for the stall.
2. I'm sure with a decent aim there are no droplets.
3. Standing saves time. By flushing the toilet before you finish makes you faster. Also, if you watch your phone you might be much slower. Assuming you save 30 seconds peeing while standing, per day, that sums to more than 3 hours per year.
4. It feels more masculine (inb4 toxic masculinity crap)
5. You don't have to sit on a dirty toilet seat.

No medal, imo.

Diapers:

1) Can go whenever and wherever you want. The ultimate convenience

2) Don't need to waste time going to or finding a bathroom

3) Don't have to get out of bed to use the washroom

4) Multiple uses, one cleanup. Efficient.

5) 100% accuracy

[Amsel_]

I only sit down if my penis is erect.

Why? Doesn't it bother you when your touches the toilet?

[Snuden]

I only sit down if my penis is erect.

Why? Doesn't it bother you when your touches the toilet?

I bend forward in an awkward way

[Snuden]

What I REALLY hate is when you have had sex with a girl and you dont immediately go and wash your crown jewels. Not only are you laying there like a beta clown, your penis also start to shrink to a miniature size of it's normal self, there also seem to form a layer of body fluids covering your pee hole.

This WIL:L cause an uncontrollable pee stream.

[Cometk]

I’m nominating this for thread of the year