Epic Washington Trip: Cheadar's Perspective

[evilcheadar]

So this is the Washington DC trip from my point of view.

The day before we left, I slept until about 2 in the afternoon (this is conjecture however I don't actually know what time exactly I slept until I just know it was a pretty advanced hour). So I wake up at 2:00 PM and proceed to the basement where I find another basement player (other than gustav and ear) who wants me to play aoe with him and his girlfriend. I say yes and proceed to whoop ass in a few rush games with them. I also provide tips which they find condescending. This continues until gustav forces me to go to the nearby weis family owned markets and get cashback so I'm not a complete freeloader on the trip. I get a bag of chex mix and and get about $20 cash back. I get yelled at for taking out too little money but they didnt know I had about $25 cash back on my nightstand. I help haul out some soda to the car that the others bought we return home.

The time period between 8:00 pm and 4:30 am the day of the trip is hazy. I'll say a few things about what I did. I know that I played some aoe, even streamed some games. I also know I watched some youtube and in particular the impractical jokers. I probably visited the bathroom a few times in there also.

At around 4:30 am I realize I need to put in my contacts to get proper visuals of DC (I don't do this too often so I'm still a little rusty). I had 1 good pair of contacts sitting in the container. I manage to get one in my right eye and accidentally drop the other one which basically disappears because everyone know contacts are hard as hell to find when you drop them. I look for a while and come upon a dryed up contact I lost probably months ago in the same manner and proceed to re-hydrate it using contact lens solution. I get both contacts in, but they are bothersome fora while.

So at this point its like 4:45am and I head to gustavs' room just in time to hear his bugle alarm. I randomly say "what the heck was that" and he asks me if I heard the "booms" too. I said no and just said that was a random comment by me. He grabs his shit and we wait for fightinfrenchman to arrive in his pimpmobile. I get my stuff also and we head out in frenchman's car.

On the way to one of our other friends house's, I move the entirety of whatever is sitting in the backseat to the seat where my other friend is about to sit with full knowledge he will have to sit there in 4 min. We get to his house and once he opens the car door I tell him to just move the stuff to the trunk. He moves pretty much all of the random ice-scrapers and bags of shit that were sitting there, only keeping the movie theater popcorn bucket and grocery store popcorn in the back seat with us. This would bite us in the ass in just a bit.

So we pull out of my friends house and head on to Washington Dc, the best capitol in the world. I take a random picture of the front console and post it to the forums. I'll summarize the first hour of the driving as this: Frenchman and Gustav talk randomly about politics and history while our other friend sometimes join in. I say random things but am most concerned about getting their opinion on the benghazi movie that is coming out. They don't know what I'm talking about I swear I saw a trailer on youtube. During this time I also try to use my earphones but find that they don't work. So after about an hour of driving Frenchman and Gustavas start asking for the phone chargers for their stupid android phones saying that they will need to recharge while they are driving after having the phones on for navigation. Me and our other friend can't find it and Frenchman yells at us and says we're stupid. My other friend than remembers he probably threw it in the trunk before he got in the car. We have to pull over.

We pull over at this outlet looking place which has an outback steakhouse to which I repeatedly say "we should go to outback steakhouse" but nobody else agrees or even acknowledges the suggestion. Frenchman gets the bag of shit out of the trunk and we pull out onto the open road again headed towards Washington and Frenchman says his stomach hurts somewhat but we continue.

So we continue some of the same shenanigans in the car until we get to the city outskirts where the driving starts to get tricky. We see a crane with a giant lit up star hanging over the side of the highway at one point to which frenchman says "what the heck? what is this?" I then say its a giant lit up star being hung by a crane on the side of the road. The sun starts to "come out" as we get into the tricky driving around DC, but really it's just the sun hitting the cloud cover. Frenchman and Gustav repeatedly yell at Me and our friend for being too loud in the back seat as Gustav frantically gives lane direction to frenchman as we navigate these billion lane roads. Frenchman gets pissed at people passing him and not letting him in and such, but we eventually make it to the parking garage.

We used the parking panda service, which everyone thought was cool, however I could only get so excited about a gate lifting and letting our car through. We park the car and me and our friend break away for a minute to test the outside DC temperature to see if we should bring more coats. I rule on not bringing an extra coat. I forget what everyone else did except for frenchman who was wearing a shitload of stuff. Frenchman commented how we look like tourists compared to him, but I didn’t care, we were finally in Washington DC!

The first monument, we headed to was the Washington monument. I should say that I posted most of the monuments we went to here on the forums for your viewing pleasure. The washington Monument is a tall pillar looking thing. It looks to be built of 2 different materials that were changed
between about halfway up. Gustav makes a weird comment about how the 2 materials represent protestant superiority over the catholics, I don’t probe the comment any further.

I believe Gustav gets a pic of himself at the monument for his new facebook profile pic
and frenchman gets a pic of his british socks at the monument for some reason. Our other friend comments how this would be a great place to have a secret meeting and nobody really agrees with him.

So from there we head on over to the WW2 memorial which is totally kickass. As you enter there’s like a chronological engraving of the events from the Atlantic and Pacific theaters of war. Frenchman says he likes the Atlantic engraving better but I actually liked the pacific side better because at one point I am amazed that there is this thin brass cigarette in one of the soldiers mouths that hasn't been broken off by any roudy tourists yet. I could easily have broken it with my fingers but I figured that would be inappropriate.

We move into the “meat” of the WW2 memorial, where there is like a ring of mini monumuments for each of the states around this huge water feature. I can remember thinking why the hell does rhode island get as big of a monument as pennsylvaina when clearly more pennsylvainians had to have died in the war than rhode islandians. I remembered back to our trip to gettysburg where the pennsylvania monument was huge compared to the others and thought wow this WW2 monument should be more like that.

So we walk around the ring of state monuments and as we pass Idaho I say that there should absolutely be a potato incorporated into that monument because its Idaho. Nobody really agreed but whatever. We head to the middle water feature and feel the water which is actually warmer than expected. We finally leave the WW2 monument after a little more looking around.

Next, It’s on the Lincoln Memorial. A giant Abraham Lincoln sitting on a throne inside this greek looking building. We walk along the reflecting pool to get there and Gustav comments that they should clean that thing up as there is so much algae. (I thought in my head that it’s not really a pool that people swim in a lot so why does that matter.)

Once we pass the weird asian lady with a selfie stick taking multiple selfies in front of the memorial we climb the huge stairs and enter the monument. I remember standing squarely in front of Lincoln and wondering just how many people stood in that spot before me. I thought about how filthy it my tongue would be if i licked this floor where so many different tourists have walked on. Anyway inside the memorial on the 2 wall Gustavus and Frenchman talk about the weird judeo christian paintings high on the walls but I don’t catch much of the conversation. I make a blunt conclusion in my head that they are trying to link the death of Lincoln with the death of Christ on the cross.

For some reason, one of us wanted to check out what was behind the memorial (I guess to see if there was anybody behind there) and there was nobody there. I still don’t know why we had to check behind Mr. Lincoln knowing full well that John Wilkes Booth died in some barn shootout I think. We walk back out to the top of the stairs and then walk on the outside border of the monument to the very back, where someone brings up this would be a great place to have a secret meeting. There is more agreement on this location as being a good place for such an activity.

Moving on from the Lincoln Memorial, I think we headed to the Korean War Memorial which was neat because there was human statues trudging through bushes whilst looking lost and forlorn. We keep walking back and forth to some random spot on the memorial for some reason, and I have no idea why. Someone in the group keeps saying we should go the Vietnam war memorial but we never actually go there much to my dissapointment. Frenchman sees the netherlands mentioned somewhere on the memorial and tries to send a pic of it to Jerom but has some issues with the forums on his mobile phone.

We proceed from the korean war memorial to the WW1 memorial. It is tiny in comparison to the WW2 memorial. Pathetic even. But we find out it is simply just for the veterans of WW1 from Washington DC. Now in my head I am actually thinking it is too big for that group of people but who cares I guess. The memorial was pretty dirty from all the people stamping their muddy feet around on it.

Next we move on the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial but we have to cross a busy street to get there. Our other friend comments about his keen desire to hit the Jefferson memorial which is far in the distance. We get to the general area of King’s memorial but have trouble finding where the actual statue of him is. There was huge mountain-pillars of white rock and finally on the back of one pillar is the King statue. Frenchman comments about how veiny King’s hands are depicted on the statue.

From here, it’s on to the Roosevelt memorial. It was like a huge walkthrough area made with reddish brown stone. It had a lot of quotes I believe. We find a statue of Roosevelt in a wheelchair and our other friend doesn't know why they depicted him in a wheelchair when clearly Roosevelt before his late years had stood up and shot guns and stuff. We tell him this memorial is probably for his presidential context. I think Gustav makes some random vaguely sexist comments about Eleanor Roosevelt or something. I remember seeing a quote relating to the new deal and thinking that I thought it wasn't all the great of a deal all things considered. We eventually leave the memorial.

I think after we left the Roosevelt memorial we made it to the Jefferson memorial. Not much happened here except that it was a freakin huge memorial and I told our other friend that the bleeding copper engraving on the inside wall was the blood of Thomas Jefferson. We couldn't say much as you had to be quite inside the memorial.

On the way out as we rounded the perimeter of the memorial we passed some black official looking guy holding an assault rifle. After we passed we wondered about how we could get the black guy to verify that the gun was legal and registered. We opted not to act on any proposals.

We walked first to the National Air and Space museum, but saw that there was a long line to get in, so we walked onward to the native american museum first. As we entered we wondered if there would be a sioux rifle rider depiction. In this museum, we had one major job: that was to recreate a photo taken nearly a decade prior in the same spot at that museum. We accomplished that goal and looked around a bit more. One area of the museum has a booklet for you to write your thoughts on what you saw in the museum. There were typical neckbeard replies saying things to the effect of that the museum is all lies by the white man and not to believe any of it. There were random doodles in the booklet as well. Frenchman and I did our duty and advertised for eso community in the booklets on different random pages.
I should mention that in between all of these museums, there were two hobo encounters. The first one involved our other friend taking some stolen museum pamphlet offered from a homeless guy and the homeless guy asking for money in exchange. He have $5 I think. Gustav, me and frenchman scolded our other friend for being charitable and our other friend came to the resolution that he’d keep the pamphlet as a reminder to not be charitable in the future. He then threw it out like 5 min later. The second homeless encounter occurred when some guy tried to get us to take these american flag beanies from him and then solicit us for donation if we took one. Most of us were smart and refused to take anything, but our other friend took the beanie that was offered and the homeless guy then followed him saying young man! young man! you need to donate! All the while Frenchman just walks ignoring the events unfolding behind him. Me and Gustav eventually get our friend to turn back and return the beanie. Never take from the homeless!

After the Native American museum, we hit the National air and space museum. There was a black security guy repeatedly saying to put all bags on the x ray conveyor. I wondered how many times he says that in a shift. The exhibits in this museum were pretty interesting but it was absolutely packed. It is the most visited museum in the world after all. After walking around there for a while, we headed to the adjoining super-mcdonald's. I think i got the chicken nugget meal. Also notable was Gustav being disappointed when a balsamic dressing clearly came from a balsamic dressing packet instead of ranch dressing. Our other friend talked about his aging dog to which I asked how long till it turns to bones. He had no idea.

As we left the super-mcdonald's I had to piss, but was confused when I saw two family restrooms instead of a mens and womens restroom. I opted to use the bathrooms inside the air and space museum instead.

We then wanted to go to the Smithsonian museum for American history but got sidetracked by the freer art museum. This was a really weird one. The place was mostly underground and there was 3 notable exhibits. The first one was the “peacock room” which was just this weird room with random peacock art and pottery on the walls. We saw a sign saying there was a peacock room “remix” and we knew we had to go to it. It was in the bowels of the museum and was weirder than the first. This time there was weird music playing in it and broken pottery and a general atmosphere of depravity. Our other friend very loudly exclaimed that this creeped him out and that he better get out of here. We left the museum by climbing up multiple staircases and emerged in a totally new place it felt like.

After we found our bearing we headed to the smithsonian museum of American history. This was the low point of the trip for me. It was now like 2:30 pm and I had been awake since about the same time the previous day. I was basically sleep walking through the museum as frenchman and gustav gawked at one seemed like every boring display. I was more interested in eyeing up the swords and pistols that were legitimate artifacts that the historical figures actually wielded at one point. I remember getting drug into some lightbulb exhibit and getting annoyed.

The American history museum took up a ton of time, but I don’t remember much of it so lets proceed to the museum of natural history. On the way there it started so sprinkle rain drops so we started to run through the crowds and into the museum. It was packed. Eventually, after looking at some random skeletons, we finally sat down in a cafe area. Our other friend repeatedly challenged me to an arm wrestle and I crushed him. I also crushed everyone else at the table. Before we left this museum we walked through the gift shop and Frenchman briefly considered purchasing dehydrated polar bear ice cream but he chose not to buy any. He did however do one of those penny stamping crank machines and got a flattened deformed penny for a dollar with a museum stamp on it.

We got out of the museums finally and now were hungry again. (It’s around 6:00 pm at this point)
We opt for this weird french sandwich place frenchman kept bothering us about. Gutavus and I get this panini club while frenchman gets this other weird type of panini which is uncustomizable much to his dismay. Our other friend ordered first and was finished with his meal before we even sat down. As we started eating our other friend got up for some desert. He got this piece of cake looking thing and then asked us if the spot on top looked like mold. Gustav thought it was “a shadow of a nut underneath the surface or something” but frenchman and I agreed that it looked like mold. Our other friend got up and informed the owners who frantically threw out the other pieces of cake and offered our other friend a boston cream pie which he agreed to.

After dinner we used the restroom and we finally headed back to the pimpmobile. Getting out of Washington was again a challenge, but we made it. Frenchman at one point blasted mad max soundtrack music as we were trying to get in the moment as there were so many cars all around us and it was a hectic environment. The music annoyed me and our other friend, but Frenchman was steadfast insistent for some reason that it was not that loud. I ate the chex mix i bought at weis family owned markets the previous day on the way home.

When we got back we chilled in the basement and even played a team rush game with some basement folk. I remember talking about what would cause us to have to return to Washington at the specific moment and we thought that if someone lost a phone we would have to return. Frenchman eventually collapsed on the floor for a while from exhaustion, but we forced him to drive home anyway.


There’s far more details that have been left out, but I’m sick of writing


well?

[gibson]

I am ashamed to say I read every word

[fightinfrenchman]

I am ashamed to say I read every word

good now read mine for a clearer picture of the day

[evilcheadar]

I say random things but am most concerned about getting their opinion on the benghazi movie that is coming out. They don't know what I'm talking about I swear I saw a trailer on youtube.

Gustav makes a weird comment about how the 2 materials represent protestant superiority over the catholics, I don’t probe the comment any further.

Typical Gustav.

Trust me that movie is gonna come out.

[iNcog]

-- deleted post --

[thebritish]

Wow, it took me so long to read me (i cant imagine how long it took you to write it).
Anyways, your journey seems very interesting..

[zoom]

Cool story bro.

[evilcheadar]

Wow, it took me so long to read me (i cant imagine how long it took you to write it).
Anyways, your journey seems very interesting..

How long does it take to read?

[God]

Lol @ Idaho potatoes

[evilcheadar]

Lol @ Idaho potatoes

Yep an Idaho trademark

[fightinfrenchman]

Good news: a sequel to this amazing thread is coming within the week